wings chopped.........

sssssiiiiiiiiiiiiiccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkk

im sick......sick of my stupid college....sick of the insane people running it......sick of my routine life.......sick of living without a real purpose.........sick of my room.........sick of people pestering me.......sick of being a normal invisible human............sick of the pressure on my head.........sick of walking in the same line with others...........sick of not having an individuality.......


the thing which makes me more sick is that im not doing anything to overcome it....i just close my eyes every hard moment and tel myself that it will pass.....that this moment will just pass away......but when???.........closing my eyes and soothing myself is not gonna help......i know i have to do sumthing....i need to act.............


i feel like a bird whose wings are chopped off.............and then it is put into a dark room.......with all other birds............. who in turn r laughing at me because i wont be able to fly anymore............but at the end of the room is a small lamp of zeal........the inner hope..................
there is a passion to prove to the birds that i am a penguin............a bird which cant fly but also the only bird in the world which can swim................im going to prove them wrong............im going to punch each fellows face who looked at me with a "ur good for nothing look" with excellence....................with passion and succes.............and with recognition...............


yes.......im a bird without wings.............but with thoughts, aims and ambitions much higher than any other bird could ever fly.................

derz always september after may :P

30/05/10
TIME: 10:30 TO 2
*yyyyaaaawwwwnnnn*.....................................................
its 10:30.....i need to get up coz i hve an drawing external tmrw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sounds weird coz since an year in vignan i hve learned only how to draw dose x-y lines properly(still cnt sumtyms!!!)...........however dats all past i get up vth a resolution to score gud marks..........i get fresh........open d biiiggggg all in one( d gita of engg!!)...........i open d subject ENGINEERING DRAWING!!!!!!

TIME:2 to 11:30
since d last 3 n half hrs i hve succesfully completed staring d subject name :p
nw shashi vl study(hehehehe)..................
finally till 8 in d nyt i do sumthing try sumthing n go to my frnds place bring her home!!!!!!!
bring a lot of junk!!
food is d first priority u c!!!

DATE:31/05/10
TIME: EARLY MORN 4 to 8:30
shashi is still studying god knws wat!!!!!!!
i give big big luks to 6 chapters get ready n go to clg!!!

TIME:8:30 to 2

nw shashi opens d buk again n finds out dat she has read only d answers n nt d questions !!!!!
which means she can solve a problem only if she given d solution which is impposible:p
people around her r taking water bottles n live examples trying to understand s concepts!!!
luckily dey did spare d waste paper basket( v even hve a sum on dat pattern)!!!!!!
she panicks n den decides dat she can atleast pass!!!!

TIME: D LONGEST 3 HRS!!!!!!!

question paper in hand...............a stolen drafter fixed to d board...........equipments in hand i felt lyk an new medical student entering into d dissection hall for d first tym...................
i felt dizzy..................d world is spinning.................i luk at d questions...................sweat beads on my fore head......enters d princy.......he luks lyk one of dose rotten bodies......cums n stares into my eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!......................eye to eye contact........i hold my breath............he finally asks"howz d paper".................i say "easy sir very easy very scoring"........................

TIME: END OF 3HRS

I CUM OUT N SAY FLUNK!!!!!!!!!!
.PHEWWWWWWWW

MORAL OF D ABOVE STORY

1.i cud hve flunked vthout opening my buk bt since im a genius i flunked after 2 days of noo sleep

2. i realised dat ED is nt important for me

3. n finally i realise dat ders always september after may!!!!


but wat if d princy asks me why did i flunk my exam??????
all i can say is dat i can draw his biological organs better dan an hexagon in a chart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


soo tohhh boooolllloooooooooo

jai supli.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JAI JAI SUPLI!!!!!!!!!!!!

a single moment

woke up at 11:30......... hot tea ..............chatting vth frnds..........my mind is occupied vth many things at dis moment...............one sweet romantic song on one side of ma brain.......... other side is occupied vth nightmares abt a gal i read.......i dun knw wat im upto....i dun knw wat people expect......i dun knw wats lyf........i dun knw why i go to clg.........wen i cnt understand wat dey teach.....wat am i waiting for?...........people to push me in d ryt direction or...........am i waiting for d ryt tym to cum?......or am i waiting for dat single moment............a single moment wen i feel im free....a moment vn i feel im wroth sumthing..........a moment vn i vl love people around me d way i love myself......a moment vn all my sorrows convert into dying happiness...........a moment vn i vl spill d tears of happiness........a moment vn i vl intertwine my fingers vth my beloved.... n laugh lyk never before............a moment vn my mom vl say dat she is proud of me..........i want dat moment.....shud i wait for it to cum?.......or shud i create it?.............doubts as big as mountains..........bt still hope as deep as oceans............im working towards a lyf full of happiness n undying love.............n working towards dat songle moment which vl change my life...................

a discovery..................

sitting in front of ma pc...............vth tears in ma eyes...i cnt figure wats wrong in ma lyf..........how much i do......wateva i do is wrong........i hve lost strenght to fight.....lost strenght to fight vth ma parents telling dem dat im doing nthing wrong.....lost strenght to maintain relationships..........lost strenght to prove d world dat even im wroth sumthing............i really duno wat d hell more shud i do to make people take me seriously...........ma lyf is full of shit at dis moment..........people r der around me bt dats making me fell all d more lonely...........mayb im expecting more....a gal who was ready to do anything has lost hope on lyf.............lost hope on relationships.........lost hope on herself.........from now begins another chapter of ma lyf...a lyf vthout hope.............mayb i shudnt b dis much hopeless....bt der cums a point in lyf....vn things r outta hand......n u lose hope.......mayb im waiting to b loved..............to hugged by my frnds................to b loved for wat im rather dan to b loved for wat i vl b......................i hve reached a phase of lyf vn ma own shadow seems new...............i hvent realised dat by taking up my parents dreams i vl lose myself...........totally.................bt sumwer in d deepest corner of my heart i knw dat i vl prove everbody who crushed me wrong...............vl prove d world dat im a gal vth ambitions set n goals arranged.............a gal who thinks about things beyond her strength..........yes im discovering myself.........


wish me luck..................

frndship:a word undefined

friendship...........a word which has many meanings, a word which stirs emotions in our hearts, a word which luks simple bt has deeper emotions dan ever............i dunno y im writing dis blog ryt nw mayb coz im missing my frnds, frnds who did everything for me................im missing vidhyu n i miss her for no particular reasons ....... who r frnds?????..........people who stand beside u in every circumstance?.......i dunno wat is d real meaning but i knw one thing dat i hve got 2 frnds who mean a lot n i love dem vth all my heart even if dey hurt me i dun mind coz frnds r d one who hurt u..................den love u vth all der heart.........dis blog is dedicated to ma best frnds...........dey arent my so called jigs.............dey r real frnds..............frnds who dun expect anything.....bt vl break ur teeth if u dun expect frm dem........frnds who stayed awake till midnyt to wish me on ma bday nt outta neccesity bt love....frnds who got excited for my bday...came shopping even if dey dint feel lyk.....lyked everthing i did .......frnds who gave der share of food even vn dey vr hungry...........people who gave me strength to do things my way...........who disliked a particular teacher if i hated dem even if dey liked dem.............who threw der home works away if i dint do mine................who shouted at me vn i dint study n hugged me tight vn i got even a single mark more dan dem...................who cried vth me vn i cried n hid der sorrow vn im happy.............told each n every problem of ders even vn i cnt suggest a thing............had a biiggg fight vth me called me immediately in d eveng n said "idiot i miss u".............list is endless n even d love i have for dem............mayb im nt in touch...............mayb im behaving different.........bt vidhyu n mukku i love u

missing u bth loads n loads
umuamuamauhhhhhh

EDUCATIONAL STRESS:how far is too far

whole ur school lyf struggle n strive hard for dose marks n den compared to ur reative(whos a nerd mind it) coz he got 97%(ewww)..........join in an corporate college(better knw as jail).....take maths,physics n chemistry as ur subjects(even vn u cnt add 2+2!!!!!).........sit in crammed classes....smell d aromatic essence of d bathrooms(stinks horrible)...........for dose ranks in engg clgs........join in engg coz its a prestige(sounds stupid ryt??)....even vn ur true calling or passion is something else....

we think dat once v cross 18 everything vl b alryt n nw atleast v can live our lyf.......but nooo coz nw is vn everything changes n everything u do becomes national news in relatives.........

cumming to engg its another whole lot of shit(seriously)..... its lyk submit ur assignment or stand in class the next day..........u can b absent for a day but but dun forget to skip ur lunch d next day to write a test(even vn ur stomach is growling)............the list is countless.......and d torture is never ending............all v ask is one question...........

can v live our lyf atleast nw??????????????????
or is dis a question which v are nt permitted to ask?????????


think abt it

ma first blog:)

well...............
dis is ma first blog n im clueless as to wat to write..........
so i decided to write ma self dabba(abt muhself)
me.....im a normal gal vth abnormal dreamzzz n ambitions( which surely give ma parents shock frm tym to tym). i joined engg coz it was ma dad's dream blah blah blah..........but i wanna b a journalist (a famous one mind it)............not lyk someone who comes in local news channels n continously repeats d same things........a journalist vth a spirit....lyk u c passion for news nt for d bucks dey pay.....im damn patriotic n i jus luv living in india...........sooo no USA for me(puhhlezz)........i luv living vth people who luv me..........getting pampered is wat i lyk...........i hve got loads of best frnds firstly vidhyu(umuahhh shes damn cute)..........den kitty(d one who told me to start blogging)........den mukku(an aspiring journalist too)...........nikki(cutie pie)..........nishu(ma chweets)...........dese guys r damn close to me.......cant hide a single thing frm dem.........well dats it for nw......if ma bolg is boring den.....i cnt help it.....thanks for taking d pain n reading it :D:D